My Child Redeems My Broken Dreams: On Parents Transferring Their Unfulfilled Ambitions onto Their Child

Abstract

From the early days of psychology, theorists have observed that parents sometimes transfer their own unfulfilled ambitions onto their child. We propose that parents are especially inclined to do so when they see their child as part of themselves, more so than as a separate individual. When parents see their child as part of themselves, their child's achievements may easily come to function as a surrogate for parents' own unfulfilled ambitions. In the present experiment, 73 parents (89% women, M age = 43 years) were randomly assigned to reflect on either their own or others' unfulfilled ambitions. Results showed that, when faced with their own unfulfilled ambitions, parents who see their child as part of themselves want their child to fulfill their unfulfilled ambitions. This study provides the first experimental evidence to suggest that parents may desire their child to redeem their broken dreams.

Figure 1. Transferred ambitions as a function of unfulfilled ambitions and inclusion of child in the self.

The Inclusion of Other in the Self Scale is displayed on the x-axis. Parents were instructed to select the figure that best describes their relationship with their child. Copyright © 1992 by the American Psychological Association. Adapted with permission. The official citation that should be used in referencing this material is Aron, Aron, and Smollan (1992). No further reproduction or distribution is permitted without written permission from the American Psychological Association.