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Review
. 2021 Nov;12(6):e1572.
doi: 10.1002/wcs.1572. Epub 2021 Jul 26.

Eliciting forgiveness

Meltem Yucel  1 , Amrisha Vaish  1
Affiliations
Review

Eliciting forgiveness

Meltem Yucel et al. Wiley Interdiscip Rev Cogn Sci. 2021 Nov.

Abstract

When we commit transgressions, we need to be forgiven to restore our friendships and social standing. Two main ways we can elicit forgiveness is through asking for forgiveness after committing a transgression (i.e., retrospective elicitors) or before committing a transgression (i.e., prospective elicitors). Research on retrospective elicitors with adults and children indicates that apologizing or showing remorse elicits forgiveness from both victims and bystanders, and sheds light on the nuances of such elicitors and their functions. Far less is known about how adults and children respond to prospective elicitors of forgiveness, such as disclaimers (statements that prepare the listener for a transgression or a failure of character or performance, e.g., "I don't mean to be rude but…"), and how the functions and effectiveness of prospective elicitors compare to those of retrospective elicitors. Furthermore, much less is known about the additive effects of using both retrospective and prospective elicitors of forgiveness. A better understanding of how and when forgiveness is elicited in childhood and through adulthood promises to shed light on human sociality and cooperativeness. This article is categorized under: Cognitive Biology > Social Development Psychology > Emotion and Motivation Cognitive Biology > Cognitive Development.

Keywords: apologies; cooperation; disclaimers; forgiveness; remorse.

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References

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FURTHER READING
    1. Darby, B. W., & Schlenker, B. R. (1982). Children's reactions to apologies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 43(4), 742-753. https://doi.org/10.1037//0022-3514.43.4.742
    1. Darby, B. W., & Schlenker, B. R. (1989). Children's reactions to transgressions: Effects of the actor's apology, reputation and remorse. British Journal of Social Psychology, 28(4), 353-364. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.2044-8309.1989.tb00879.x
    1. Oostenbroek, J., & Vaish, A. (2019). The emergence of forgiveness in young children. Child Development, 90(6), 1969-1986. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13069
    1. Watling, D., & Banerjee, R. (2012). Children's understanding of disclaimers. Social Cognition, 30(1), 18-36. https://doi.org/10.1521/soco.2012.30.1.18

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