Regret and Repair: Experiences of Adult Children and Parents When a Father Remarries Soon After the Death of a Spouse

Abstract

The purpose of this study is to better understand what happens to families when a parent remarries quickly after the death of a long-term partner. Men typically re-partner much more rapidly than women do after the death of a spouse. We used a qualitative, grounded-theory method to interview six parents (all men) and their adult children (12 participants total) about their experiences when fathers lost their spouse and re-partnered quickly. We found a variety of reasons for rapid remarriage, and a number of implications for parent-child relationships, including feelings of losing one parent in body and another in relationship, different expectations between parents and children related to holding on to memories of the deceased and finding ways to let go, remaining parents looking back with unexpressed regret, and finally experiences of repair. Clinical recommendations for therapists are provided.

Keywords: adult children; death; grief; remarriage; widowhood.