Disease and decision

Abstract

At age 16, I injected morphine for the first time, and then started injecting heroin. By most standards, I was highly functioning, although I eventually became addicted. I was and remain socioeconomically privileged, but my relationship to heroin resulted in behaviors and consequences that I never could have conceived of, and which I sometimes strain to remember occurred. My life now is stable and conventional. Some aspects of my past addiction are unerasable, but the most salient of those are the social and legal consequences of having a criminal record-not any hallmarks of a chronic brain disease or disorder. I do not consider myself "in recovery." Rather, I am recovered, by standards both my own and derived from clinical nosology. I have been in sustained remission for over a decade. Yet feelings are not facts, as is often said. I still use alcohol, and occasionally (though not recently) I have used other drugs, so there remains the possibility that my brain is indeed "diseased" and I am not objectively recovered, my self-assessment notwithstanding. My aim in writing about my lived experience of drug use, addiction, and recovery is to highlight the heterogeneity of people's experiences and the insight that personal narratives can provide. Debates about the brain disease model of addiction are often confined to academia, with the real-world, unintended consequences of the "disease" label seldom considered. Stigmatization of people with addiction comes from moralizing about drug use but may also originate from well-intended labels. I posit that we should not need labels to care about addicted people and make scientifically informed treatment accessible. Addicted people deserve help because they either need or want it, regardless of labels that presume to describe the etiology or likely trajectory of their problems. I conclude that some labels, even those needed for clinical classification of human behavior, may be pernicious. Clinicians and researchers have an obligation to reflect more deeply on the implications of the disease conceptualization of complex human behaviors such as addiction.

Keywords: Addiction; Brain disease model of addiction; Heroin; Lived experience; Stigma.