Masculinities and men's emotions in and after intimate partner relationships

Abstract

Men's emotions in intimate partner relationships have received little research attention. The current interpretive descriptive study included 30 Canadian-based men to address the research question: What are the connections between masculinities and men's emotions in and after intimate partner relationships? Three inductively derived themes included emergent distressing emotions wherein participants' predominance for holding in abeyance their concerns about the relationship manifested varying levels of emotional stoicism. Within this context most men denied or downplayed and did not express their emotions. When the relationship broke, men were overwhelmed by mixed and weighty break-up emotions comprising diverse and often-times discordant emotions, including sadness, shame, anger, regret and guilt, calling into question men's rationality for deciphering and expressing what was concurrently but inexplicably felt. Shame and anger were prominent emotions demanding the participant's attention to all that happened in and at the end of the relationship. In the third theme, understanding and transitioning after-burn emotions, participant's grief levered their efforts, including soliciting professional help for deconstructing, reframing and expressing their emotions in the aftermath of the partnership ending. The findings contextualise and in some instances counter claims about the utility of men's emotional stoicism by mapping participants' feelings in and after intimate partner relationships.

Keywords: masculinity; men; men and emotions; men’s mental health.