In-Law Preferences for Similarity: Comparing Parent and Child Preferences for In-Law/Intimate Partner Similarity

Abstract

Parents want daughters- and sons-in-law who are similar to their children, and children want spouses who are similar to themselves. In turn, the question arises: Do parents agree among themselves on how much similarity they desire in their prospective in-laws concerning their children? Moreover, do parents and children agree on the level of similarity they desire in an in-law and a spouse, respectively? Furthermore, to exercise an in-law preference for similarity, parents need to assess how their children score in traits deemed desirable in a spouse. This raises the question of whether mothers and fathers perceive their children similarly, and whether they perceive their children in the same way their children perceive themselves in these traits. The current study aimed to address these questions using a sample of 356 families from China, focusing on four desirable traits: good looks, good providers, good economic prospects, and good family background. Our results indicated that parents preferred sons- and daughters-in-law who were similar to their children, and mothers and fathers concurred on the level of similarity they desired between their children and their in-laws. Additionally, parents desired as much similarity between their children and their in-laws as their children desired between themselves and their spouses. Furthermore, we found that mothers and fathers concurred on how they perceive their children across the four desirable traits. Finally, both parents scored their children higher in these traits than their children scored themselves.

Keywords: mate choice; parent-offspring conflict over mating; parental choice; parent–offspring conflict; similarity.